Bye Bails

It took me a week to get my emotions together to write this blog entry. Last Monday my parents called me and insisted I call them back as soon as I got to my apartment after work. Of course I knew something happened. My thoughts started racing - who could it be? Something happened to someone I loved...and then it hit me, it was Bailey. Sure enough, when I finally reached my apartment, through the tears already welling in my eyes, I asked my parents, "Is it Bailey?" All they had to say was yes and I knew what had happened to our 12 year old yellow lab.

I'll be honest, I have never been so emotional over an animal in my entire life. And I guess to some extent, Bailey wasn't just an animal, she was a member of our family. I remember when we went to pick her up, somewhere near Evergreen, Colorado. My brother and I didn't know we were getting a puppy, but I remember how thrilled we were when we realized it. The breeder brought the dogs in, a line of five or six yellow lab puppies. Then came a straggler, a puppy walking in a bit slower than the rest. She stopped, looked at us and proceeded to pee on the floor. We knew then we had found our dog.

We named her Bailey, after the first town we ate breakfast in in Colorado. Little did we know, Bailey is a pretty common dog's name. But every time someone told us they had a dog named Bailey, my dad would always say, "Yeah, but I bet they're not named after Bailey, Colorado," and sure enough, they never were.

Bailey was an amazing dog. She wasn't "anyone's" dog really, but loved each of us equally...although I won't lie, I think she was partial to my Dad and me. When I left for college, the first semester I was gone, Bailey took all her toys and piled them up outside my door . . . if that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

I have the fondest of memories of my puppy. From our long runs, to eventually our long walks. I remember playing fetch with her and letting her sleep in my bed (against my dad's protests). She used to sleep literally like a person, with her head on the pillow, taking up the majority of the bed. I remember how crazy she'd get after the bear would pay us a visit and I remember how much she loved just laying outside in the garage watching people walk by. She never ran away, never bit anyone, and would never take a treat until you told her it was ok. She loved it when I spilled ice in the kitchen, because she'd get to lick it up and she couldn't stand my mom cleaning her ears. She gave high fives and kisses and would immediately run for her bed when you told her it was time to go "night night." She was simply the best dog we've ever had.

I went home last weekend and my mom told me Bailey had been bit by a bee. Her ear was swollen with fluid and I spent most of Saturday researching how to make it better. We gave her benadryl, I tried to get her to let me ice her ear, which wasn't easy. Mom and dad planned to take her to the vet the following Monday to see if they could drain the fluid. But it was more than just a bee sting. Bailey's allergies were worse than ever, her paws were swollen and chewed and it looked like she was developing a tumor on her paw. She had an extremely difficult time climbing the stairs and would often wait at the base of the stairs for hours until someone forced her to make the trek. She was getting old and while none of us thought she'd go this soon, we all knew it was coming. The vet said she was in a lot of pain and he felt it was time. My mom made the decision and that was it, our beloved Bailey Bails was gone.

The first few days were difficult, I cried even thinking about her. The days have begun to get better, but even as I write this post, tears are welling in my eyes. Bailey was part of our family for nearly half my life...wherever we went, Bailey went. Whenever I came home, before I even said hello to my parents, I yelled out for Bails. It's still unbelievable to me that she's no longer here. I think part of me feels like she's just at the kennel and Mom and Dad haven't gone to pick her up yet...but I know better.

I know my puppy-girl is in a better place, she's not suffering anymore, she's at peace, but it still hurts. I still miss her. We were truly blessed to have such an amazing dog. I'm thankful she loved us as much as we loved her and deep down I know she's up in Heaven playing with her stuffed "babies" without a care in the world.

Take care old girl, be good, we love and miss you Bails.

Another Fateful Day

I spent my weekend in Delaware celebrating my two best friends' birthdays. It was a great weekend at the beach, laughing, eating, and simply having fun together.

The weekend was kicked off with the Dark Knight Rises on Friday evening. We bought our tickets weeks ago, but little did I know what would occur between then and now. As most everyone in the country knows, during a midnight showing of the Dark Knight, a gunman entered an Aurora, Colorado movie theater and unleashed havoc in the form of bullets, killing 12 and wounding dozens more on Friday morning. 

When I woke up Friday morning, I saw the news articles plastered all over Facebook and on the internet. My initial thought was, "Oh no, not again." And as I continued to read those articles, without fail, almost every one included a paragraph about Littleton, Colorado, a mere 20 miles away.

Fourteen years ago, if I mentioned I was from Littleton, people would hardly react - they'd simply ask where that was and if I liked it there. But as of April 20, 1999, that changed. Now when I say I'm from Littleton, people pause and say, "Ohh," as if they're not sure how to continue the conversation. It's something I've unfortunately grown used to over the years.

As the news reports continued regarding the Aurora shooting, without fail, the ultimate comparison was made. Broadcasters proclaimed, "This is the state's largest shooting since Columbine," as if it's some sort of achievement to outdo what Dylan and Eric did so many years ago.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my own flashbacks to that day. With the news of this shooting came a flood of memories; my classmates crying in gym class as they told me what happened, the school lock-down, the helicopters swarming overhead, not being able to reach my parents because all the phone lines were jammed, running a dead sprint home so I could hug my mom, huddling around the television trying to find out all the details, my dad trying to reach us from Texas, learning of the friends we had lost and those injured, paying our respects at Clement Park, our church Pastor burying Dylan and the aftermath that came, and the constant analyzing of what we could have done better, what we missed, what didn't we see? And the realization that at the end of the day, "We Are All Columbine."

I have a lot of mixed emotions when it comes to this latest shooting. Anger, sadness, disbelief. My heart goes out to all those wounded, killed, and affected by this heinous act. And my heart breaks for a state that has been rifled with extreme loss, from Columbine to this year's devastating wild fires to the Aurora shooting.

As I watch the news unfold, I wonder what life will be like for my future children.  After Columbine, my school experience was drastically different in many ways, not to mention my own life and personal views on school violence and bullying. And one has to wonder, will going to the movies become an altered experience now too? Will my children be able to live in a world without metal detectors and heightened security? It's doubtful as the very places we're supposed to be safe, continue to become outright danger zones.

And so now, the comparisons will continue. The media will try to "dissect" the brain of a mass murderer - Why did he do it? Did he have a rough childhood? Was he mentally unstable? What signs did we miss? How can we prevent this from happening again? To be honest, I don't care. The fact is, he chose to murder innocent lives and at the end of the day those are the people who matter. Let's talk about them and the impact they had. This man, he doesn't deserve to even be mentioned, let alone given his 15 minutes of fame in the media spotlight.

Because the truth is, no one will ever really know why he chose to act this way. At the end of the day, no one will be able to understand what drove this madman to inflict such pain and violence on a theater of innocent move goers, just as I will never understand why Dylan and Eric chose to unleash their own pain and misery on their classmates and my friends on that fateful day in April 1999.

The fact remains, these are trying and dangerous times. I only pray there's a light at the end of the tunnel and this senseless violence stops. Until then, I'll keep all those victims in my heart, mind, and prayers.

Stay strong Colorado. Stay strong.

The Countdown Begins

So in just 73 short days, I'm competing in this little thing called a marathon. When I signed up for the race back in February, it seemed like I had all this time to train and prepare, but with just over two months left, that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

I was sticking to a running schedule and then went on my work trip for three weeks, which definitely stalled some of my training. But I'm happy to say I started a new 16-week schedule once I returned and have stuck to it for the past month. I'm up for a ten mile run on Friday and will brave 11 miles in the Arizona heat next week, while I'm on vacation with my parents.

I would be a total liar if I said I wasn't scared to compete in this marathon. Let me tell you now, I am terrified and in all honesty have no idea how I'm going to finish it. Don't get me wrong, I have confidence in my abilities and every time I complete a long run, it's never as bad as I thought it would be, but let's get real people, 26.2 miles is a friggen long way to go.

I keep thinking about how I felt after my half marathon last summer. When I hit mile 12, I was "seeing Jesus" as they say and verbally praying aloud for God to help me finish the race. When I crossed the finish line, I remember my cousin grabbing me and yelling for one of the race officials to give my my medal. I remember her putting the medal over my neck and me just saying, "Cheryl, I hurt. I hurt a lot." My knee was swollen and not feeling too hot because of my overly tight IT band and I ended up working with my trainer for a few months after the half, just to get my IT band back to normal. I remember going to bed that night, after the half marathon, oddly enough on an air mattress (I was staying with my cousin, so real bed space was limited). I remember being in so much pain that when I went to readjust or move in my sleep, I woke up with the searing pain of aching muscles.

And thus I admit to you, I am terrified to run this marathon.

So what's my plan for the next 73 days? Well, I'm definitely sticking to the schedule. When I trained for my half, I kind of made up my own schedule and I think maybe ended up adding too much mileage each week. This will not be the case for the marathon.

I'm going to run the Lynchburg half for a second time in August, about a month before my marathon, so that should gauge how well I'll do. I'm also going to be joining the local Crossfit here in Danbury after my vacation, which should help with overall fitness and maybe help me shed a few more pounds before the race.

I'm also purchasing my very own foam roller, which I've been putting off for far too long. This means I'll be a stretching, foam rolling machine up until the big race.

And finally, I plan to overhaul my diet over the next two months, to really focus on consuming food as fuel and not simply because I like it. Although I lost 40 pounds over the past two years, I've been lazy and allowing myself one too many indulgences. Yes, I've kept the weight off, but I haven't lost anything either, and that has to change. But it's really less about the weight and more about giving my body the energy it needs to friggen run 26.2 miles. This means more veggies, more fruit, more high protein and less low fat mini cupcakes (yes they do exist), cups of cereal before bed (hate that I've reverted to that nasty habit again), and carb binges.

The good thing about all of this is that I committed, I paid the money, I'm running the race. Whether I run, walk, or crawl to the finish line, I will complete it. I don't care how long it takes me, because this is one of those moments in life, where it's all about the journey.

Let the countdown begin  . . .

The Reality of Miss Advised . . .

So it's that awkward part of summer in TV-land - the period where all the great shows have wrapped and the late summer shows have yet to begin. It's what I like to call reality-TV Hell. While I never got into Jersey Shore and always thought when you'd turn the TV off after having watched that show you were significantly less intelligent then when you turned it on, I have to admit, I have a pretty long list of reality TV taking up precious DVR space. My list of guilty pleasures includes: the Real Housewives (Jersey, New York, and Ocean County), the Bachelorette (she's totally visiting Prague next week!), Sister Wives (seriously, I can't get enough of them), Tia & Tamera, Kendra on Top, and as of 24 hours ago Miss Advised, a new show on Bravo.

I watched Miss Advised for the first time last night, the premier episode. The show, which is produced by Ashley Tisdale believe it or not, is about three relationship experts living in NYC, San Fran, and L.A. Each one has their own take on relationships and even has their own rules, but as luck and reality would have it, they have trouble actually following their rules.

As I watched the show, I was amazed at how horribly inexperienced my dating life seems to be. I mean don't get me wrong, I have some pretty good dating horror stories (yes, I'm talking about you Mr. Know It All, who said because I was smart, educated, had a good job, and understood business, it was hard to believe I was a woman), but these ladies seem to find a guy around every corner, have a date every night, and blog to tell about it the next day. It's clear these ladies didn't just move to Danbury, Connecticut, because let me tell you, the dating scene isn't exactly booming here. I digress!

I'll admit, I definitely saw some of myself in two of the ladies - Amy Laurent, a NYC matchmaker meets up with her ex-boyfriend who's in town for the NYC marathon. After meeting him for dinner she realizes maybe she's isn't quite as over him as she thought. Yeah, been there, done that. And Julia Allison who goes on a date with a guy with personality potential, but not so much looks. She even asks him to help her move boxes into her new apartment, only to let him know that evening that she really just wants to be friends - oh yes, been there too. Julia even has a 75-point checklist for what she wants in a future husband - don't we all?

I'm not really sure why I let this suck me in last night - I sometimes wonder why these dating shows exist at all...yes it's a guilty pleasure and I'm sure it's supposed to inspire women to take their dating life by the ... well you know, and find that perfect guy. Or maybe it's supposed to demonstrate the pitfalls of other ladies dating escapades, just so we can feel better about our less than lackluster dating lives. I'm not really sure, but at the end of the episode, I think it made me feel worse about the whole dating scene. I'd love to see a reality show that wasn't focused on women trying to snag a guy - is it really that horrible for a career-focused woman to be single? Is it really that awful to not have a boyfriend? Sure, sometimes it feels like it, but mostly I believe women should embrace singlehood - get to know themselves first, understand what really makes then happy, before they start following someone else's rules for hunting down Mr. Right. Just my two cents!

Back on U.S. Soil

Well, I made it to Europe and back! My attempts at super packing were successful and I was under the weight limits every time. Had a wonderful trip, really learned a lot and met so many new people. Although I had a wonderful time, more than two weeks away from home can be a bit taxing at the end. I have to say, when I left Spain that last day, I was ready to go home.


Some of my trip highlights:

View of Prague

1. This trip solidified my belief that taking this new job was one hundred percent the right decision. Throughout my time away, I met people from more than 20 different countries and really enjoyed the folks I worked with. Overall, the amount of drama I encountered was minimal and honestly, a breath of fresh air. It feels good to know I took a giant leap of faith and it paid off. To those who supported me and continue to do so, thank you. To those who didn't or continue to contribute negativity, you don't matter and honestly, never really did.

2. I met some amazing co-workers from Texas and Canada. We had a great time out to dinner in Poland and even found time to partake in some karaoke at the event finale, which resulted in an impromptu, "Hold On" karaoke session on our bus back to the hotel. Great people. Looking forward to some upcoming trips to Toronto and Austin and reconnecting in Russia.

Inside of the restaurant

3. Prague was simply breathtaking. Everywhere I looked there was a postcard photo opportunity in the making. Although the city was awfully crowded (due to a beer festival and hockey season), I can finally cross "See Prague" off my list of to-dos. Such a beautiful city.

4. I didn't have much time in Spain, but I had the opportunity to go into the city for a really fantastic dinner. I randomly chose the venue, La Capilla de La Bolsa, which happened to be the home of the former Madrid Stock Exchange and a church with ties to the Knight's Templar. I was nervous, since it was a random Google selection, but in the end, it paid off and everyone was thrilled with my choice. The interior of the restaurant was phenomenal and there were opera singers who put on a performance every fifteen minutes. I also had my first taste of lobster paella, which was to die for. And we enjoyed some sangria, which was nothing like I've ever had here in the U.S. Despite this amazing meal, I managed to lose almost four pounds over the course of the two weeks!

Overall it was a great trip. I plan to blog more in-depth about it later, but wanted to give a quick blog update.  Now it's back to the real world . . . marathon training,  etc. But I have some incredible memories to last me a lifetime.

Already looking forward to Russa, et. al. next year!

An Update on the Packing Saga

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm making a real valiant effort to be a savvy packer for my trip abroad in a mere 11 days. Here's an update on my successes/failures thus far:

1. I bought new luggage and actually got a great deal on it too. Quick sidebar: I went to Macy's, where they had a 50% off luggage sale. I ended up going for a Calvin Klein set (three pieces, big, medium, small). Together with a 25% friends and family coupon, a slew of giftcards (Thanks CS, LS, & TC), I ended up snagging more than $700 worth of luggage for only  . . . get ready for it  . . .  $200! I consider this a success, not just because of the awesome deal, but because I know have a matching set of luggage and a good sized check-in piece, plus a great little carry-on. Ok, it's not really a success, but I'm still excited about my new luggage . . . and wow, I'm excited about luggage.

2. I took a trip to the local Christmas Tree Shop which is essentially Mecca for all things travel-sized. I snagged some great little finds, like the perfect sized bottle of body wash. Simple pleasures my friends. I also had a great 20% off coupon, so that didn't hurt.

3. I've slowly started to make a pile of things I need to pack - My goal is to do a test run next week.

4. I've tested out how much lotion, contact solution, etc. I REALLY need for two weeks and am now taking about a third of what I normally take on a trip. This has to make a difference, right?

5. I've almost convinced myself that it's impossible to bring my scale with me. When I told my best friend Lindsay about this, she said, "wow Amanda, that's so weird." So I guess I really shouldn't do it, but I'm still on the hunt for a light weight-travel scale. Should one exist, it's mine.

6. I suppose this is somewhat of a failure - One of my coworkers asked me to play tennis in Madrid...which is awesome, but now requires me to pack my tennis racket. I suppose I could not be a tennis snob and rent a racket in Spain, but I feel like I should bring my own. This could put a real wrench in my packing - we shall see.

Just a quick update. Still can't believe I have 11 days left to make it all work!

Staying Healthy while Staying Abroad

In just a few short weeks, I'm off for an extended work trip abroad. I'll be spending about a week in Warsaw, Poland, a few days in Prague, and four days in Madrid, Spain. While I'm certainly excited and happy for the opportunity to travel, I'm a little nervous about two things: 1 - How will I manage to pack all that I need for two weeks in one suitcase and one carry-on and still make the airline weight restrictions? 2 - How will I stay on track with my marathon training and eat healthy? Big problems, right? Yeah, I know, they're fairly minor, but still important, especially to a PR, clothes/shoes-loving, woman!

Let's tackle the suitcase issue first. I've already started making a list of things I need to buy and things I want to pack. I think I've come to the realization that I will need to do some laundry in the hotel sink, and I'm alright with that. But let's be honest, I'm totally one of those girls who brings eight pairs of shoes and too many "just-in-case" outfits. It's going to be tough. I just don't want to get into another situation like I did in China, where my bag was too heavy and in broken English I was told I needed to pay $500 U.S. dollars - Nightmare of a story for another blog post. Anyways, my goal is to be extremely practical about my packing - I said, it's my "goal." I also need to some how leave extra space for all the gifts I need to bring back. This will be a real challenge folks. I plan to document my packing extravaganza and offer some tips as I go along. So wish me luck!

As for my training schedule and eating, that's another story. I know the hotels I'm staying in are equipped with gyms, so that's a start. Working out isn't really going to be a huge issue, I seem to make time for it on work trips. Sometimes though, the fatigue and time differences make me lazy, so I'm going to need to fight the urge to sleep. My shorter runs won't be too bad, but I have a seven and ten mile run to complete while I'm away - that's going to be one boring treadmill workout. Here's hoping I stick to it!

Now eating is a totally different beast. I'm a little compulsive when it comes to weighing myself, so I usually bring a scale with me. Yes, I pack a scale in my suitcase. I'm not sure I'm going to have the space for it this time around, although I refuse to give up and am on the hunt for a lightweight travel scale, if such a thing exists. Worst case, I'll see if the hotel has one. I'm also bringing a lot of my own food, which also contributes to the packing issue. I plan to bring low fat English muffins, a small container of peanut butter, oatmeal packets, some craisins, cheerios, 100 calorie snack packs, and I'm sure that's not all. Part of the reason I bring my own food is strictly health reasons (i.e. calories), but the other reason is due to food allergies - It's not easy being lactose intolerant abroad! I'll also continue food journaling, which should help keep me on track. When all else fails, order the salad.

If you have any tips on packing or keeping a healthy lifestyle while abroad, please do share! I'll keep you all posted on my attempts!