These past couple of months have flown by. So much has happened, which I plan to update in another post. But I wanted to just take a minute to address the school shooting which took place just a few miles from where I live in Connecticut.
Initially, I didn't realize the extent of what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary, but as the reports began to flow in, so did the tears. To think 26 people were killed, 20 of which were children, just makes no sense. I suppose I'll never know why people make the choices they do, but I still wonder what goes through someone's head to commit such a heinous act of violence.
Those that know me, know I am from Littleton, Colorado. A town synonymous with it's own act of violence. While I did not attend Columbine High School, I knew many who did and had my own connections to what occurred there so many years ago. And despite thirteen years, that day is etched in my mind with the utmost clarity.
As I watched the news and stories began pouring out of Sandy Hook, flashes of April 20, 1999 came back to me. I remember everything about that day, the tears, the screams, the questions, the fear. Our school was in a lock down and helicopters were soaring overhead. I remember finally being let out of school and my mom not being able to get to me because of roadblocks. I took the bus home and literally ran the entire way to my house, just wanting to hug my parents. In speaking with my mom and dad last Friday, they told me that without a doubt, they knew how some of the Sandy Hook parents felt, wondering where their child was, or if they were ok. My dad still has a difficult time talking about what happened with Columbine. He was on a business trip and knew I was planning on touring Columbine as a possible high school to attend. He wasn't sure where I was and couldn't get in touch with me (I didn't have a cell phone at the time and all the phone lines were tied up). All he could do was pray he said.
Columbine left an indelible mark. I was forever changed by that day and I have carried it with me all these years. Though I don't talk about it much these days, when shootings like the one in Newtown happen, it's hard not to think about Columbine. Sadly, it seems to be the shooting all other shootings are compared to. But now, I fear Sandy Hook has become the new benchmark.
My heart breaks for all those impacted by the shootings in Newtown. Just like Littleton, it was a small town, tight-knit, and I know it will be forever changed by the tremendous loss of life. I pray for the families of those who lost loved ones, especially the children. I don't have children and can never think to know what it might be like to lose a child in such a violent way, but my heart aches for their loss. All I can say is, Heaven has 20 little angels watching over us.
As Christmas quickly approaches, I can't help but think of all those families who will have unwrapped gifts under the tree, an empty seat at the dinner table. I can only pray they find the strength to soldier on in the midst of their grief and that they find comfort in knowing that there are good people in the world, good people who do care and love and hope. I know I plan to try that much harder to spread some joy and good in the lives of those around me in honor of those who were taken all too soon.
The wounds left behind last Friday may never heal, but I hope as a country, we can come together and open our eyes to the violence and tragedy we continue to endure. At some point, we have to say enough is enough. We can't continue to allow this type of hatred to pervade our schools, our malls, our communities. I do believe we are a great country, capable of great things. But we've lost our way. I can only pray we find it soon.
As John Lennon wrote, "Imagine all the people, living life in peace." Wouldn't that be something?
